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Getting married is very much like
going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see
what the other fellow has, you wish you had ordered that.
One day a man inserted an
'advert' in the local classifieds: "Wife wanted".
Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: "You can
have mine."
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A little boy was in a relative's wedding. As he was coming down the
aisle he would take two steps, stop, and turn to the crowd (alternating
between bride's side and groom's side). While facing the crowd, he would put his
hands up like claws and roar...
So it went, step, step, ROAR, step, step, ROAR all the way down the
aisle.
As you can imagine, the crowd was near tears from laughing so hard by
the time he reached the pulpit. The little boy, however, was getting more
and more distressed from all the laughing, and was also near tears by the
time he reached the pulpit.
When asked what he was doing, the child sniffed and said,
"I was being the Ring Bear...."
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A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds "Husband wanted". Next
day she received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing "You
can have mine." |
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Marriage is:
Finding the one person to ANNOY for the rest of your life! |
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Two guys sitting at the bus stop, when one guy looks at the other and
says,
"I did a really dumb thing and feel embarassed about it." The
other guy asked what he did.
He said, " well I just ment to go to the
airport and bye to tickets to Pittsburg.
But there was this lady there
with the hugest breasts I have ever seen and instead of asking for
two tickets to Pittsburg I asked for two pickets to Tittsburg." The
other guy say's " That's nothing, this morning I ment to say Honey
please pass me the butter, and instead I said YOU RUINED MY LIFE YOU
F#!%ING BITCH. |
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The bride, upon her engagement, went to her mother and said, "I've
found a man just like father!" Her mother replied, "So what do you
want from me, sympathy?" |
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When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let
her keep him. |
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A little boy asked his father,
"Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't
know, son, I'm still paying for it." |
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Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. The rest cheat in
Europe. |
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Man is incomplete until he is
married. Then he is finished. |
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Once upon a time a guy asked a girl: "Will you marry me?"
She said "No!" And the guy lived happily ever after...
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Wedding Speeches In The News |
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