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You know the honeymoon is pretty much over when you start
to go out with the boys on wednesday nights, and so does she.
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence.
Second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
The trouble with being the best man at a wedding is that
you never get to prove it."
Eighty percent of married men cheat in America. the rest
cheat in Europe.
To the bride's parents: "Bet after 28 years you didnt think you'd still be
putting her to bed with a dummy, eh?"
There are two kinds of secrets : one is not worth keeping and the other is too
good to keep.
They lived happily until they got married.
Marriage is
not a word. It's a sentence... (a life sentence!)
I went alone on our honeymoon. My wife had already seen Niagara Falls.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus - engagement ring, wedding ring and
suffering.
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